In the early days of my housecall practice, I went to see a fifteen-year-old Lab and her person at home for a quality-of-life consultation. People often call me for a talk like this about their old pets. Their regular vet might not have time for the hour or so that it takes to fully discuss an old pet’s situation. It really helps me to see the pet at home; sometimes there are adjustments to make everyone’s life easier that I wouldn’t know about unless I see the house. And of course, old pets prefer not to have to travel to the clinic! Most of what we’re talking about is low-tech, but if I see a situation where diagnostic tests or an in-clinic procedure would be useful, I’ll recommend a visit to their regular veterinarian.
Mocha and Diane
Diane showed me the ramp she had made for Mocha to get up the few steps to the house. I looked at the medications and supplements Mocha was taking, and reviewed the special diet of fresh foods Diane was cooking for her. Diane made sure to get Mocha out for the short walk she could manage several times a day. She had acupuncture every 4-6 weeks and went for car rides, which she loved, at least once a week.
Although Mocha’s energy level and limited mobility didn’t allow her to run and play much, she loved to hang out with people. And, of course, other dogs. Instead of going on long hikes as they had in the past, Diane would take her to a friend’s house for the afternoon. Mocha would bark and trot around with the other dogs briefly; then she would flop down and spend most of the visit snoozing under Diane’s chair. Even so, she seemed to enjoy the energy of the younger dogs and the interesting smells wafting from the kitchen.
What Else Can I Do For Old Pets?
Despite all of this, Diane was worried she wasn’t doing enough for Mocha. Was there another medication she could take? Something Diane could add to the diet? A new supplement she hadn’t yet heard of? Some piece of hardware that could help Mocha get around better?
In Diane and Mocha’s case, there weren’t many changes to make. Diane was already doing so much for Mocha that I felt at a loss. I couldn’t offer something new and useful to say. I pointed out to Diane all the things she was doing and offhandedly remarked that it was more than many people do for their elderly family members. Struggling for something to suggest, I mentioned that Diane could simply sit down with Mocha for a bit, at least once a day, and just be with her. We talked about a few more things, and then I headed off to my next appointment, wondering if I’d been useful to them.
I Learned Something: All You Need Is Love…
A few weeks later, Diane emailed me to say that she had gotten a lot out of our consultation. To my surprise, she mentioned that the most useful part had been my casual suggestion to sit down with Mocha. She had been focused on external things, on doing more (as I had, too). It was a huge relief to her to realize that the most important thing she could do for Mocha, and for herself, was just to be together. Diane saw that she could really use a break in her busy day, and had been setting aside 30 minutes each evening to read with Mocha by her side. Even if Mocha was asleep, which she often was, Diane felt that they were connected.
Thanks to Mocha and Diane, I learned about the tremendous importance of actively making time to express the love we have for our old pets. Both veterinarians and clients can get so focused on material things sometimes. Is there a pill for that problem? A technique? Special garment? Sometimes, but often all we can do is accept the inevitability of the aging process, and remember to be there with our old pets. We used to bond by taking long walks together or through intense laser-pointer play sessions. Now they aren’t interested in or can’t do those things, but they still want to be with us. We need to slow down to their pace. This way we can rediscover the simple but magical power of just being together.
…And a Pat on the Back
I also learned how important it is for my clients to celebrate the love that is the foundation of the work we do to care for our old pets. As our pets age, we make more and more accommodations to their changing needs. They become less flexible, both physically and mentally. Often there are more messes to clean up. Many people haven’t been on a trip in several years because they know it will disturb their animals. They change their own daily routines significantly to adjust to what their pets need.
People with elderly pets can lose sight of the efforts involved. Taking care of them can require a huge amount of time, energy and emotion. It’s similar to taking care of an elderly person. Yet there is no support system around this role, no visiting nurses or home health aides. Recognize yourself as a true caregiver. This can help you see that you are already doing a ton for your pet and that you need to care for yourself too. Quiet time together can help both of you.
This is so lovely and helpful, Erika. You are indeed doing hospice work for our dear animals. It’s beautiful, important work. I wonder how much you have read about hospice care for humans. There are many good books, although volunteering or working hospice is a great experience and education too. It’s how I learned, and I so appreciate your work with the creatures. Brava, Erika!
Thank you, Islene! I’ve read a number of books about end-of-life care and experiences in the human field– have you seen the one about singing in hospice, On the Breath of Song, by Kathy Leo? She is the founder and director of Hallowell, a hospice choir in Brattleboro. They just got the book at the Kelogg-Hubbard Library. It made me wonder if I could somehow incorporate singing to pets and their people as part of what I do.